Donnerstag, 27. Mai 2010

One of my favorite dreams this year

I dreamt that iam at my parents house, at night.
I stand with a friend at the balcony, looking at the roofs of the houses in the village.
The moon stands in full brightness at the sky above and iam amazed by its sheer beauty.
Then suddenly, the moon begins to fall onto the earth.
My reaction is panic. I say: Oh no, it will fall onto the earth and destroy everything!
I expect a big explosion, but to my astonishement there is no crashing sound, but instead it hall happens without noise. It falls softly, and hits a spot in the village hidden from our sight.
When it hits the earth, i notice a silent explosion of soft and warm silvery light. This light fills everything and is warm and gentle and seductive somehow and therefore my panic turns into excitement.
I say to my companion: Come on, lets go to the place where the moon crashed in.
So we go through the village and come to a mountain, where i suppose it to be.
I look towards the top of the mountain and there i see a huge female giant, maybe 10 to 20 meters life-size.
She is about to crawl down the mountain, towards us.
My reaction is panic again and i urge my friend to hide with me from her.
So we climb into a sandbox and hide behind a plank of wood, we are really small now, like little children.
I hear the giant coming near, with big steps that make a thundering sound.
Iam totally scared and try to make myself even smaller behind the plank of wood.
But then i notice that the giant is already in front of us, hidden from our sight behind the plank.
She starts to speak to us in a very gentle, soft and comforting voice and tells us that we do not have to scared, that everything is okay, and that we are safe and have to climb out of the sandbox to welcome her.
So, for the second time in this dream my panic changes into amazement and joy, and i do as she has told me.
Then there was something i dont remember anymore, but i remember that in the last sequence of this dream the female giant has introduced us to the company of many other giants.

L.e.N.e.

Mittwoch, 26. Mai 2010

Elementary versus Zodiacal Magic

I found out that the repeated performance of the Supreme Invoking Ritual of the Pentagram on the elemental level (that is invoking the combined forces of all five elements) creates some sort of tumult at everyday life, and that the spiritual task is to stay calm and balanced, no matter what problems arise.
But by invoking the combined forces of the Zodiac via the Pentagram ritual i create some sort of tumult in my inner life, and the task is to get rid of psychic ballast, a psychic clearing out of overcome attitudes and habits.
I can tell that the first performances of the elementary SIRP created much tumult! For example, i had water damages at my apartment, suffered loss of family members, fell unfulfilled in love, had trouble at work etc etc.
But by repeatedly performing it i found out that the tumult turned to peace again, up to the point where i did not notice any outside changes anymore. This i took as a sign that the elements are balanced in my sphere to a certain sufficient extent, at least at the grade level iam in.
This whole elementary balancing process took around 3 months of my current Portal grade.
In these 3 months i have performed the SIRP ca. 10 times, alternately with connotation on the elemental hierarchy and Spirit itself.
I dont know if it would have taken longer if i would not have started with occasional SIRPs and Opening of Watchtowers already at the Theoricus level- mostly due to a burning curiosity how it is like.
Now iam in the process of zodiacal balancing, and found out that, just like with ordinary zodiacal invocations, there is not so much happening in the outer world, but instead on the inner and emotional and psychic level.
May my Angel guide me through this delicate phase (-and hopefully a good psychotherapist i can trust)!

Yours,
L.e.N.e.

The Supreme Invoking Ritual of the Zodiac and Assumption of God-Forms

In order to prepare for the performance of the Supreme Invoking Ritual of the Zodiac, where the magician invokes the forces of every zodiacal sign in one session, i decided to train myself by first invoking all the cardinal, then the kerubic and finally the mutable signs, that is invoking the Quadruplicities.
I found out that this is also a perfect exercise for creating the respective God-Forms, seeing that in each of the three sessions the colors of the Godforms complement each other at the opposite direction of the Temple, which made it quite simple to create the astral hall.
For example, for the invocation of the cardinal signs we have Aries with red at the East and Libra with green at the West, and Capricorn with blue-violet at the South and Cancer with yellow-orange at the North.
The creation of the God-Forms is an integral part of every ritual invocation and i noticed that the more precise and patient i work on this part, the better is the outcome of the whole ritual.
I will give an example how i proceed.
After the introductory banishings, purification and consecrations and after having invoked the Highest Divine Force with as much devotion and emotion as possible, i sit down at the Altar, relax my body and close my eyes.
I imagine the room where i work in vanishing in a silvery-white mist, till everything is filled with this silvery-white light, symbolic for the astral Light.
Then i imagine sitting in a large temple in the form of a perfect cube. The floor has black and white tiles, like in a traditional Golden Dawn temple, and in the middle is the double cube Altar of the Universe, and between the Altar and the East stand the black and white pillars of Jakin and Boaz.
Then i imagine the walls of the temple colored in the colors of the respective forces, like for the cardinal signs red in the East, blue-violet in the South, green in the West and yellow-orange in the North.
To keep this posting short, i will only give an example for the creation of the Godform of Libra in the West, which is the egyptian Maat.
I stare at the green temple wall and imagine a portal opening in its middle, with red pillars on each side. Over the portal i can see the red glyph of Libra flashing on the green wall.
Then i vibrate the name of Maat for the first time and see that it takes shape for the first time between the pillars of the portal. I imagine the headdress (a feather), the dress, the lotuswand and ankh in her hands. Then i vibrate the second time and the shape of Maat gets more alive with color- a green dress with red trim, green and red egyptian-style jewelry around the neck and ankles, green nemyss with smaller red stripes and a feather on her head.
When i vibrate the third time, the details become more clear. I see her face more clearly, her make-up, the details of the jewelry and implements.
I vibrate her name the fourth time and imagine her becoming truly alive, seeing that she opens her eyes, seeing her chest moving with her breath etc.
Then i take my time and go through all the details again, mostly i start from the top, her head-dress, going down all her body to the feet.
Then i use the vibration formula of the Middle Pillar to enliven the God-Form ever more. I invoke Kether, bring a shaft of white Light to Tiphareth, vibrate the name of Maat there, bring it down to Malkuth, and up to Tiphareth again, where i once again vibrate her name, and then i project the name out of myself by giving the Sign of the Enterer, projecting a powerful shaft of white Light into the God-Form, and sealing it with the Sign of Silence. This will enliven the God-Form to the greatest extent.
Sometimes i also use my breath by imagining that i breath life into the form.
When it comes to assume it i first go the respective quarter and vibrate the name several times.
I imagine the form coming towards me, with its back before me. I concentrate on my Tiphareth center and softly step into it.
Then i imagine that my whole body turns into the God. I see myself dressed as the God, in the respective colors, having the jewelry and the head-dress on, also holding the implements.
When this is done sufficiently, i vibrate the name again for several times and give the Sign of the Enterer. When having done this, i imagine that i grow bigger and bigger, till i have the feeling that i truly AM the God, standing huge in the Universe, vibrating with power and grace.
I vibrate the name several times more, bringing myself in divine ecstasy, and finally i perform the Kabbalistic Cross to ground the feeling.
I view the assumption as succesful when having the feeling that iam really huge and vibrating with power, and feeling a flow of warm energy trickling through my body, like being bathed in warm golden sunlight.
Then i start to invoke the force with the respective pentagram, sings and names.
When the assumption is successful, the invocation itself usually takes not much energy.
I also amplify the invocation by imagining a current of light flowing through the invoking pentagram, saturating the God-Form with more life and power, and pouring through the Tiphareth center of the Form into my temple room.
To divest of the God-Form, i start to vibrate the name again, and with each vibration i grow smaller again and get more and more aware of my own body and personality, till i finally step out of the Form with the Sign of Silence, imagining the Form moving between the pillars of the portal in the wall again.
At the end of each invocation, after the Greater Banishing, i take my time to imagine the astral hall again, and reverse the process by imagining that the God-Forms in the quarters give the Sign of Silence and turn backwards and out of the Temple, the portals close, the colors fade, the walls fade and everything is filled with the silvery-white mist of astral Light again.
Then i perform the Lesser Banishings.

Ascetism and Sexuality

I've noticed that many novices and candidates for initiation think that ascetism is necessary for success in the magical arts and thereby busy themselves e.g. with not drinking alcohol anymore or suppressing their sexual drive. I think this is a mistake. On one hand it is surely healthy to stop wasting the body with poisonous substances like alcohol and tobacco, seeing that the body is the physical temple of the Lower Will and Higher Self.
On the other hand there arises a great danger of developing some sort of spiritual heroism or egotism, which may be a far greater sin than enjoying worldly pleasures from time to time.
One of the keywords to success in Magic is Balance. Amongst other things, this means to be moderate in all things human. One should neither practise vice, nor strict ascetism.
Especially regarding the sexual drive this is very important. I have heard from many students that they try to suppress it to the point of having no sex at all anymore, only to find themselves "tortured" by sexual dreams and obsessions.
There is the diffuse notion throughout the esoteric camps that the sexual drive has to be sublimated, that its energy has to be directed towards the higher chakras in order to reach enlightenment.
This may be true for some eastern practises, but surely not for hermetic Magic.
I think a healthy attitude towards sexuality is really necessary. To suppress sexuality over a long time can only result in obsession and perversion. A fact that the current scandals with german catholic priests can attest.
The sexual impulse is a creative expression of the Divine Life-force that saturates all the Universe, and as such it should be treated. To suppress sexuality means to deny this fact, and to contaminate it by unconsciously viewing it as something impure.
Instead we should consider sexuality, may it be straight, homo- or bisexual, as something sacred and rejoice when we have a partner with whom we can enjoy this sacred act of union.
Unfortunately the whole so-called sophisticated western civilisation is in a crooked situation in regards to sexuality. The media, at least in Germany, nearly explodes with sexual images. Sex sells everywhere, may it be in movies, fine arts or advertisements.
But at the same time i always get the feeling that sex still is viewed as something dirty, something that one has to be ashamed of.
Maybe iam over-sensitive to this fact because iam gay. You can find the mandatory gay couple in every soap opera on TV, but at the same time the teachers of every primary school confirm that "gay asshole" and "faggot" are the most used swearwords on the schoolyard. This is pretty sad.

But I want to come back to ascetism. I think Israel Regardie once wrote that many students of the occult fall into the trap of confusing the voice of their infantile ego with the voice of their Higher Self. To be more plain, many tend to think that "when i dont drink alcohol anymore or when i dont do this or that anymore, i will reach my Higher Self". I think this is not true. The Angel is not reached by good deeds or virtues, instead virtue is the outcome of communion with the Angel, but then virtues may have another connotation, and may not be measured by common moral standards anymore, instead taking on an alltogether different meaning.
Desires do not have to be suppressed, but instead purified. And purification means to analyse the true impact of every desire, seeing if it is necessary to fulfill it in order to be satisfied or if its just another escapist tendency.
Eliphas Levi once wrote that only he can enjoy the lust of love who has overcome the love for lust.
We all have to handle our saturnian appetites. In fact, we are all human and equipped with physical bodies that have certain appetites. We have to see that we dont overfeed them, but give them moderate nutrition.
When it comes to semiluxury food we have to see that we dont become slaves of our passions but instead become masters over our desires.
This may be a hard task, but its the only way to the golden palace.
The attitude of temperance in all things human is what distinguishes the hermetic path from the eastern paths. I think the roscicrucian claim that none of the posterity should be constrained to wear one certain kind of habit but therein to follow the custom of the country points in the same direction.
And also it is to be considered that the path that leads to Tiphareth is the path of Samekh, the path of Temperance, which is the straight and narrow path, and only few are able to find it.

In L.V.X.,
Frater L.e.N.e.

Donnerstag, 20. Mai 2010

Sorry for the break

I know it has been a long time since i posted something here. Iam well aware that the longer i keep on pausing the greater is the danger that people forget about this blog.
The pause was not about laziness. I just had a lot going on in my life. Iam deeply involved in my grade work, temple work, tutoring students etc.
So if there is anybody out there who is interested in this blog, iam sorry, but i can assure you that i still want to work on it.

In Licht, Liebe und Leben,
Frater L.e.N.e.